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Hartsyard's Blog

All you ever need is a really good screw

By May 22, 2012 No Comments

After I informed Ash of the great chair disaster of 2012, (horribly timed with her having just pushed ‘purchase’ on her ticket back here from NYC based on the expected arrival date of the chairs) and then told her of my great plan to turn it into a community event where everyone brought their own chairs, I could just hear her designer’s heart splitting into a thousand shattered pieces as she envisioned her well executed plan being sabotaged by my grandmother’s red velvet dining chairs.

And so she took matters into her own hands, and upon arrival shanghaied our fabulous manager Cassie into a trip to IKEA. God bless Cassie. I would rather spend an hour on hold to the Family Assistance Office than go to IKEA. (FYI, do not ring family assistance at the moment. They are rather too busy to assist as it turns out).

And back they come with a couple of laundry bins, a few pots and 25 un-assembled stools.

25 un-assembled stools.

This when we just realised no one checked the size of the napkins we intended to order and they were in fact, the size of small tablecloths. (I suspect the no one in that sentence could easily be replaced with the word ‘me’ but it’s a bit early in the week for self-flaggelation don’t you think?)

I don’t even have a picture of the assembling party that occurred between the hours of 8 and 10pm last night, but suffice to say it was an orgy of good screws…

Meanwhile Mattie the plumber and his apprentice Jared, were busy in the greenhouse somewhat handicapped by having to work in the dark on account of unfinished electrical work and therefore no light.

Lime green socks. That way if Jared falls down a drain, Mattie can still find him. Can’t recommend Mattie highly enough people. Professional, timely and friendly. No sign of plumber’s crack and skilled far beyond the unclogging of a blocked toilet. Which reminds me of a tale I was told about a plumber who did just that at the home of a husband and wife.

‘Just stop throwing your condoms down the toilet guys,’ said the plumber after his work was done.

‘But we don’t use condoms,’ said the husband…and made the unfortunate discovery that his wife was having an affair.

Plumbers. Dealing with far more than a tricky s-bend.

The great napkin disaster of 2012 has also been solved by Cassie and Ash (do you get the picture that I don’t do much around here) in cahoots with Julie of Cloth fabric. More on that later, I’m running late to pick them up…

Eftpos system due tomorrow (what a fabulous feeling to think that in a couple of days we will actually have money coming into our account), logo stamp is in, website nearly finished, (again, the person holding that up would be moi) clipboards for menus arriving today, and first staff training tonight.

WOO HOO!!!!!

We’ve gathered an eclectic bunch of workers thus far, but Enmore is an eclectic place, what else would you expect! We’ve got social workers, opera singers, music journos, political scientists, accountants for not-for-profits and the obligatory Brit hoping to move here from the motherland.

Wine tasting notes from the clever and talented Ned Brooks are just in, so I shall print them of and add them to the ‘staff welcome pack.’ Everyone loves to be welcomed with a stack of information they’re required to learn in 48 hours don’t they?

We’ve had some lovely emails and comments on the blog from supportive locals, which has given Gregory and I such a glow. In 2010 when we left the US and I returned home to live for the first time in 8 years, it took us a little while to acclimate to Sydney and workout where we fit in. ‘Inner-west is best’ said one of our friends, and they’re not wrong.

We feel really comfortable and relaxed in Enmore and hope to find a happy home amongst the locals. Thank you, very sincerely, for all the love and support people, we’re really looking forward to taking care of you.

Bring on Saturday night!!