was successfully added to your cart.

Hartsyard's Blog


By October 30, 2015 No Comments

Our eldest daughter is starting school next year and has begun orientation already. This took me a little bit by surprise because I still feel like I’m in August.

It’s also her birthday in a few weeks, which (given that I thought it was August) has really thrown me, and so, with my resistance low, Q managed to coerce me into making her the castle cake from the Women’s Weekly Cookbook.

The castle cake.


Seriously? Am I meant to make that much icing?

Why couldn’t she have chosen the Maypole cake. Pretty much the lamest one in the book, it’s true, but a far higher chance of success by her mother.























‘Dessicated coconut is delicious,’ said no kid ever, even when it’s dyed green.

Baking is not my forte. It is a science and requires you to be exact. This is not me. Decorating (and crafting in general to be honest) is also something I’m not very good at. Things always look better in my head than they do in real life. Take last year’s effort for example.



It’s a Unicorn.

And this little masterpiece for Edie’s second birthday a couple of months ago.


‘Are those ones in the top right corner sperm?’ asked her Godmother.

Q is patently aware of her mother’s cake-baking shortcomings; ‘don’t worry if you can’t do a drawbridge mama, I know you’ll try your hardest.’

The pressure.

Time is eternal when you’re waiting for something as a kid. The next two weeks might just about do us both in. For her it seems like it’s standing still while I’m still trying to work out where the past 3 months went. When I was a kid I remember old people (presumably like me) saying things like; ‘the older you get, the faster time flies’ which I also remember thinking was a really dumb thing to say. Time doesn’t fly. Der.

But just last week I was at a meeting at The Gretz where we decided to launch our seafood platters this Sunday and it occurred to me that I haven’t had a seafood platter in over 6 years. Since we lived in Santa Monica by the beach, pre kids, restaurant, bar and cookbook when the biggest thing we had to worry about was lying to our bootcamp instructor about how many gins we’d had the night before. (Everyone pays to exercise in LA, it’s expected and accepted, like a $4.50 side of avocado here).

Time does fly, I want to tell my younger self, forget the last 3 months, where did the last 6 years go???

These days I’m allergic to prawns (a horrible ramification from pregnancies that I’d rather not talk about thanks very much) and chatting with my husband over a tower of freshly picked seafood, a good squeeze of tangy lemon and a bunch of different sauces for dipping, even if it’s just your finger ’cause they taste so good, seems as far off as Q’s birthday party does to her.

But it’s not. It’s only 3 days away.

It’ll be here before you know it. Or before I know it, at least.

Bugs, oysters, prawns, mud crab, King crab, scallops.

I promise you, time flies while you’re eating seafood.

Sunday from 2 at The Gretz.

seafood platters press release