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Naomi's Blog

MEN IN TOUPES, WORK OUT GEAR & FISH EATING VEGANS.

By November 4, 2015 No Comments

I think it is really excellent that you can do a degree in Anthropology. What an awesome thing to study. I think it is even more excellent that I can do my own study of anthropology free of charge and without having to reference my papers properly.

You see, I study people all the time. What they’re doing, why they’re doing it, would I do the same.

Not particularly important things like what strategies they employed to get into the Sydney housing market, but rather things like;

why have I run into two men wearing toupees in as many days, when I haven’t seen anyone sporting one for years?

why is the lighting on airplanes perfect for picking zits

why do women always sit on the banquette at Hartsyard while men take the chair

what is the parallel between christians and inner-westies both wearing sensible sandals

when you ring to confirm a booking and after you introduce yourself, why do people just hang up instead of saying they’re no longer coming

at the pool where I’ve started doing laps again after a 20 year hiatus, why do men get away without tending the clown head while women are expected to shave, pluck, wax and laser every hair in sight

and also, when you get to the end of lap at exactly the same time as a person you are clearly faster than, why don’t they wait just two seconds and let you push off ahead of them

is being a fish eating vegan something you feel silly stating when you make a booking at a restaurant (I am not making that up).

how long can I maintain a reasonable standard of dress for drop-off and pick-up for Q at school when she starts next year before returning to my uniform of too-big jeans or worse…the dreaded workout gear. Orientation is killing me. (In my defence, I’ve worn workout gear as clothing for many, many years now, even pre-kids. My argument now is that if i’m exercising that day and spending the rest of it rolling around with my two small friends, I don’t see the point in dirtying two sets of clothes. And don’t be fooled, it ain’t the posh stuff. I’m a proud supporter of Big W and Target and I wear it till they’re literally rotting off me. Lulu Lemon is lovely I agree, but who can afford 90 bucks for a pair of tights just to sweat in?)

in a social setting, when is it appropriate to kiss someone in greeting rather than shake their hand? If I don’t know them, I’m typically a hand-shaker, but sometimes I get excited and go straight in for the kiss which I think is actually me saying; ‘look! I’m out, and it’s not just to the restaurant, I’m not dressed in gym gear and I’ve had a shower. I’m really kissing you in excitement and triumph, but it is also very nice to meet you.’

I do also ponder the bigger stuff, like how my aunt (who is in a long and abusive relationship with cancer) will no longer go to nail salons for risk of infection and you realise that en-masse ignorance of others’ experiences probably has a lot to do with our national lack of compassion.

I wonder why umbrellas annoy me so much I prefer to get wet than use one. What makes the ticket collectors on the Sydney Light Rail some of the nicest people in the business. If you’re cheating on your partner, why would you bring your dates into the restaurant you regularly visit with her.

The questions never stop. But typically, that’s where my mind does – most of them go unanswered.

So really, the only question I should really be asking myself is; why am I spending so much time thinking about others?

Back to work Hart.

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