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Hartsyard's Blog


By April 6, 2016 3 Comments

I was at a cafe recently and I watched a woman accidentally spill her cup of coffee all over the table and herself. No big deal, I do that all the time. What was weird was she didn’t try to mop it up. She just let it slowly slop over the edge of the table and into her skirted lap. I watched, fascinated, wondering what the motivation was. Was she embarrassed? Did she just not care? Maybe she didn’t like her skirt very much.

I love observing – facial expressions, situations, body language…it’s all endlessly interesting and you never ever run out of subjects.

Of late I’ve also noticed that half of my right eyebrow no longer grows hair. I’m not much for body-maintenance, but I did casually observe it a few months ago and figured it would get around to it eventually.



(Dreadful photo, it’s clear I don’t do botox, but can you see how my right eyebrow just sort of stops while the other one continues its trajectory along the same angle as my eye).

However, it now appears that my body has given up on that particular zone and focused instead on my chin. Truly, chin hair is one of the great insults of aging. I’ll never forget when I noticed my first one. I was doing Beauty and the Beast in Indianapolis (I was the dancing plate – a pivotal role I’ll have you know) and the nasty little blighter came to my attention under the bright dressing room lights as I put on my makeup one night for the show. Of all the injustices. Body maintenance should decrease with age, not increase! None of it is compulsory of course, but by the time I’m 40 (coming towards me like a freight train) I expect to be doing nothing more than wearing suncream and a hat.


Q has been doing her fair share of observing during her first term in kindergarten. Asking why choir doesn’t begin with ‘qu’, how come you can’t spell air e-r as it’s got the same starting sound as egg and why some kids get to order from the canteen ever single day. I’m not sure my answers of ‘welcome to the english language’ and ‘because I’m not their mum’ were really the answers she was looking for.

We’ve started doing some food videos of late shooting them in our home kitchen and in one of them our friend observed the Rewards Chart in the background wondering cheekily if it was for Gregory. We bought it for Q years ago, then realised that none of the tasks included were relevant to our cause. Things like ‘clean your room’, ‘eat all your dinner’, ‘speak kindly’ are worthy goals don’t get me wrong, but Q is a tough character with an intensity level that can burn you out before breakfast, so we were looking more for things like; ‘try to wear something other than one pair of leggings and comfy t-shirt’, ‘stay calm when you feel like “your brain isn’t helping you think”‘ and ‘anything less than 5 catastrophic meltdowns a day is an immediate bonus point.’

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And yet we keep the rewards chart, moving it from rental to rental, hanging it up in a highly visible spot and proceeding to do absolutely nothing with it whatsoever. Maybe it could become Gregory’s after all, I could put up things like; ‘pick up the bath mat after a shower’, ‘don’t wash your chefs jackets with Q’s school uniform’ and ‘remember your wife is generally always right’. (If there were a chart for me, Gregory would probably just put up one thing – ‘don’t nag’).

The world is such a wonderful and endlessly fascinating place and I’m fortunate to have a job that constantly exposes me to interesting people, curious situations and the vagaries of life.

And now this blog is coming to an abrupt end because I’m distracted. Forgive me please, but I feel a renegade chin hair.

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