All posts in Opening a restaurant

HARTSYARD GARDEN WORKING BEE.

Gregory is the middle child of 7, who all grew up in a tiny two-horse town in upstate New York about an hour and a half out of NYC. With 7 hungry mouths to feed several times a day, Gregory’s parents had to diminish their food costs somehow. So they hit upon the genius idea of a veggie patch.

Every Saturday morning before they could watch cartoons, the 7 Llewellyns had to do an hour of weeding in the garden. They grew enough tomatoes to make enough homemade pasta sauce to see them through the winter, corn was shucked and whatever wasn’t eaten fresh straight off the cob was turned into luscious creamed corn, enough asparagus to make their wee smell for months, beans, peas (Gregory used his time wisely by shoving them up his nose), grapes were plucked from the vine and either preserved or turned into grape juice and pumpkins were quickly turned into pumpkin pie for sale at the school Thanksgiving Fete.

It was quite an operation. And it didn’t end there.

Under the house they had a root cellar in their basement, – yes, I realise that to every Australian that sounds very, very rude – but to Americans it just means a place to grow potatoes and other root vegetables. (Gregory quickly stopped using that term shortly after moving here).

Of course My mother-in-law Frannie, remembers Gregory’s loud and passionate protestations about the weekend gardening requirements, so finds it rather ironic that one of the first things Gregory did when he moved here was start a garden of his own.

Originally, the plan was to grow as much of our own produce for the restaurant as possible, but that quickly became an impossibility and for much of last year, the garden languished in a state of neglect, weekly harvesting still possible, but it was really more like a scene from Day of the Triffods.

And then, sometime in the madness of last year one of my brothers came home, at loose ends after returning from his latest overseas adventure, so we quickly threw him behind the bar a few nights a week and then tossed a shovel and a bag of manure at him and told him to get busy.

This week, he’s off again on his next great adventure, and his farewell party was a working bee in the Hartsyard garden. I know, we really know how to show our staff a good time.

My brother, the head gardener. Delegating all day long…

What’s even more remarkable than our amazing staff giving up one of their two days off to pick and ho and shovel and dig, was that (unless they’re telling porky pies) they all said they had a really good time.

Events such as these should be chronicled, so it’s lucky our PA Amy came along for the day, making it very clear by dressing entirely inappropriately for a day in a veggie garden, that she was here for photographic purposes only.

‘I do not,’ she said quite firmly, ‘like worms.’

The newest Hartsyard recruit, joining us in perfect timing for my brother’s departure is the delightful Gabby. As is the Hartsyard way, there was a little bit of nepotism involved in her hiring, as Gregory, Cass and I all already knew her, but when someone is as fab as Gab, hiring her is just clever business.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fresh from her overseas adventures (we really should get a Hartsyard business discount at Flight Centre I reckon), she was shadowed by a thoroughly besotted little Q all day long…

Mark, our jack of all trades, who is shortly jetting off on his holiday to the greatest city in the world (NYC of course) got involved early, throwing pumpkins at Amy, swingin’ a pick and wearing my brother’s old jackaroo hat like he didn’t grow up in suburban Brisbane!

The box-hut thing you can see to Mark’s right is in fact a smoker built by my brother and Gregory. We’ve had many a delicious treat from there, but the most recent discovery was a female funnel web which we explained to American Gregory was not to be trifled with. She lived in a jar for a day or two, fascinating Q with her frustration at her curtailed freedom until my brother dropped her into an anti-venom clinic for milking.

Doesn’t he fit the part? You’d never guess he works full time at an inner-west restaurant.

Maddy, our bartender, turned up fashionably late and fashionably gloved. But I would expect nothing less from our Mads.

She too, was somewhat inappropriately dressed for the occasion, but decided the manure might be a good pedicure for her feet…

Still smiling after a hard day’s yakka.

But it wasn’t just staff that got their hand’s dirty.

Here’s my husband with one of his roots…

Does anybody else support me in a beard trim? It is like making out with a woolly mammoth. An aging woolly mammoth. Look at that grey in his beard people!

My belly button and I got amongst the action…

I also managed to wear the biggest hat in the world. It was like walking around with a UFO on my head.

At some point, pants became an unnecessary item…at least for some.

And don’t worry, it wasn’t just all work, work, work, we gave ‘em a few minutes off for R&R.

In addition to a two-year old, we also had to garden with our other brother’s young pup, Ruben. Wildly enthusiastic, but not entirely helpful some might say.

We dug, we mended, we picked, plucked, potted and planted. Autumn delights are now in the ground, the back beds are ready for our winter selections and the herb beds are filled with different and interesting varietals ready for cocktails, Andy’s desserts and as seasonings in Gregory’s dishes.

In one short day, we accomplished what would ordinarily have taken us weeks. A few of us suffered aches and pains in the days to come (I tell ya, you know you’re 6 months pregnant after a day spent in the garden folks), but any immediate discomfort was treated that evening at Arcardia Liquors in Redfern, a favourite hang out for the staff.

Gregory and I know it and we tell them too, but it doesn’t go astray to make it public every now and again, that we’ve got a pretty excellent staff at Hartsyard.

Thanks gang, your worker bee efforts were truly, greatly appreciated.

 


HARTSYARD HAPPENINGS & WHY WE’RE NOT OPENING A SECOND RESTAURANT ANYTIME SOON!!!

Welcome to this week’s edition of the not-quite-as-weekly-as-I’d-intended Hartsyard blog.
I read somewhere that people reading blogs like things in point form because it’s easier for them to scan, and research has shown that for the majority of people, that’s exactly how they read blogs. By scanning.
Suits me fine because I’m tired, so point form means I don’t have to agonise over the joining words in sentences.
So, in no particular order, here’s what we’ve been up to of late.

  • Firstly, happy easter! I hope you had a wonderful extended weekend. Isn’t it just the greatest of holidays? Popping up at a different time each year and hanging about for 4 whole days. It’s brilliant. Or it would be if you weren’t a restaurant open for the those entire 4 days. As we’re still in our first year, we considered it an exercise in data gathering and here’s what we discovered – 1. our guests were as lovely as always, a lot of them out-of-towners who otherwise wouldn’t have joined us. 2. 6 no-shows on Good Friday can really get you down. 3. Holiday wages are brutal. If we open at all next year, don’t be surprised if the entire operation is staffed by house elves. 4. Andy makes a damn good hot cross bun. 5. We did not sell an inordinate amount of fish dishes on Good Friday. Not sure if this means anything much at all to be frank, but it might look good on a spreadsheet somewhere.

  • Since we opened again in the new year, (yes, I do realise that was months ago) we have changed the way we do our teas. They used to be picked fresh to order and steeped in hot water before serving, but we’ve since discovered that picking them fresh from the garden and dehydrating them intensifies the flavour and our guests seem to agree. Currently on selection are camomile, chocolate mint, lemongrass and apple mint.

  • Cassie (our GM) is currently on her American odyssey. Drinking and shopping her way across the United States, finishing up in New York where she will catch up with Ash, our good friend who designed the space and Mike Bennie, our good friend who consults on our wine list. I am just a tad envious. As autumn hits here, it reminds me of my very favourite season in NYC – the fall. I have such fond memories of running in Central Park, the coloured leaves falling gently at my feet, a scarf and a jacket to keep you warm and the audition season about to kick in, as directors look for casts for their the christmas shows and tours.

  • Our pastry chef went to NYC last year, Cassie’s on her way, Mark from Front of House heads there in May, Amy our PA just got back from a few months in Europe, Sungha our Sous Chef went home to Korea for 5 weeks at christmas, Maddy our Bar tender is heading to South America for 3 months at the end of the year, so Gregory and I decided we’d beat them all by heading to exotic far north Queensland for a weeks R and R with our not-quite-so restful and relaxing two year old. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the sort of carnage she can create if left alone for even a quick sprint to the bathroom…

  • Cocktails – new cocktails are coming on the menu these days. Most recently one designed by our very own bar tender Maddy. It’s called ‘them apples’ and i’d have a picture for you if we all didn’t keep forgetting to take one. Suffice to say it’s apple-ee and spicy, finished with some froth and a dash of cinnamon. Perfect for the fall.
  • Brunch. I was going to put this in small print, or right at the bottom on the assumption that most people who skim blogs wouldn’t see it anyway, but I’ll be brave and tell you upfront that Gregory and I have shelved brunch ideas for the moment as if we were camels, it would be the straw upon our backs. This little husband/wife team just couldn’t handle Sunday mornings as well, so it’s been put in the too-hard basket, alongside selling the hot sauce and fighting with council for a parking permit. Gregory promises me he won’t go spouting off to any more bloggers about imminent brunch dates unless that date has been well and truly written in stone. Thanks for all the interest in it folks, and I am sorry, hopefully when we get to it, it will have been worth the wait.
  • The most commonly asked question, (apart from ‘where did you get those lightbulbs’ – Empirical Style in Melbourne folks, and they’re absolutely delightful to work with) is; ‘when are you opening your second restaurant?’ At which point I break out in hives, drop to the floor and start convulsing. I don’t know if there are words to adequately express the sheer exhaustion experienced through opening this restaurant, except to say that desperate times call for desperate measures. ‘What can I do to get out of this much work?‘ I thought to myself one late night/early morn. ‘I know, I’ll get pregnant again. That ought to do it,’ and so I did and Team Llewellyn/Hart is thrilled to report we’ll have a new friend come the Spring this year. I’m already taking up valuable space in the dining room, so Cassie has cut me back to one shift a week and i’m looking forward to putting my feet up and getting weekly pedicures…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look at it chilling out in there. Legs crossed, sending us a high five. Can’t wait to meet it.

So there you have it folks, a brief rundown of recent happenings at Hartsyard. And a more than valid reason for not opening Hartsyard the second. At least, not with me involved!

  • Because we’re muppets and didn’t think it through in time, we’ll be open for Anzac Day too. So if you fancy an American restaurant on a particularly Australian Public Holiday, we’d love to see you. Q and I might even whip up a batch of anzac biscuits for the occasion and I will be the Hartsyard house elf, so my rounding torso and I will seat you if you come on in.

Happy Friday folks, hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
 
 
 
 


BIG DAY OUT, LANCE ARMSTRONG & BRUNCH. ALL IN A DAY AT HARTSYARD.

I feel the need to let you all know that we survived Big Day Out.

I realise that in social media, (where a second after an event happens, it’s no longer called news) talking about BDO is like talking about Woodstock, but – as usual – it’s been a tad hectic about these parts and I’m only just getting to writing a blog now.

We served plenty of poutine (hot cheese in 46 degree heat? Go figure) and plenty more Fried Chicken, mostly to 16 year old girls wearing what barely passed as denim underwear, midriff exposed in their fluorescent lycra, wearing no hats but oversize sunnies.

Speaking of…somebody pinched mine! What kind of karma do you get for stealing sunnies from someone serving you HOT FRIED CHICKEN during the hottest day on record? I took them off for but a moment, while the sun dipped briefly behind a merciful cloud and when I looked back they were gone. Pilfered by some punk who (if they’re a Buddhist) will be coming back in the next life as a slug.

We did our best to keep cool, taking it in turns to walk to the misting areas, but they were largely ineffectual, as the mist seemed to boil during its fall. So we resorted to the cool room. Five minutes per person, the outside air so steamy that the cool room just seemed normal.

In a more personal example of just how toasty it was, I drank nearly 4 litres of water and felt no need to visit the restroom until late, late that night.

Still, we had a blast. Genuinely had a great time. There was a fantastic camaraderie amongst the Chow Town Restaurants (Darren from Three Blue Ducks popped over with several glasses of their delicious ginger and mint tea), everyone sold out of their food and ended the night by rocking to The Killers and the Chili Peppers.

Everyone except me that is, because I am a hundred and fifty and was rather tired by this point, and also because the early start had meant a sleep-over for Miss Q at my parents’ place and I was pretty keen to catch a cuddle before she retired for the evening.

(Just quietly I’m pretty sure the staff were rather annoyed I didn’t reap the rewards of my efforts and at least see one band, but I’ve assured them that if we’re asked back again next year, they can all fight over my spot).

Naomi, Cassie and our friend Jess. 4 months pregnant and a total trooper.

Back on the home front, Hartsyard has had a couple of makeovers since we opened again for 2013. The biggest being that after putting up with a cool room not even sufficient for a school tuck-shop, the boys now have a brand spanking new one and can often be found standing in there, admiring their new digs.

The garage (originally intended to be the on-site herb garden) has been partially converted to provide more dry storage and compensate for the space lost with the new cool room. The beer kegs now sit out the back and are encased in a lovely chicken wire and reclaimed wood hutch, and there are plans afoot to install some more prep stations.

The garden is now being regularly tended to (it morphed into something out of Day of the Triffids last year as it became impossible for Gregory to work 16 hours in the kitchen and also plant vegetables. Slacker) and turns out odd things like carrot pollen, flowers for the Peachy Keen cocktail, sorrel, purple basil and chocolate mint. We’ve also changed the way we present our teas. Rather than herbs fresh from the garden, they’re now herbs that were fresh and are then dehydrated and dried so they present in the more traditional form of herbal teas. It’s a family affair here at Hartsyard, so the garden responsibilities have fallen to the youngest of my brothers who also moonlights as a bar tender.

Next up for Gregory, is the great OzHarvest CEO Cook-off on Monday 11th of February. Gregory runs his kitchen with more precision than Lance Armstrong’s doping program, so we don’t actually give any food to OzHarvest, but they’re a brilliant organisation and we’re thrilled to be able to contribute this way. For further information, or to make a donation, please venture here.

We’ve also finally made a decision about Easter and will be open the entire long weekend. Good Friday has the same restrictions as our Sunday licence (liquor sales only till 10) and I promise to hide easter eggs amongst your seats.

We are also – and I’m having palpitations even putting this in print – heading towards an opening date for brunch.  I won’t print it yet, as Gregory’s mind is more troubling to negotiate than a minefield, but I can tell you that it will definitely be on by Easter, that we won’t be taking reservations and there will most definitely be some delicious boozy cocktails on the menu.

New dishes are constantly appearing on the menu, Andy’s Pie Of The Night happens every Friday, Saturday and Sunday and Cassie’s wine list is rather lovely this year if I do say so myself.

Looking forward to seeing you all sometime soon,

Naomi.

 


NO-SHOWS. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS TWITTER WITH A WHINGE?

Last night I had a bit of a whinge on twitter. A twhinge if you will.

I am a twhinger.

It’s so satisfying.

And people seem to like it.

Truly, I’ve twhinged about this particular topic a couple of times (I should admit, that apart from the occasional food shot, it’s really the only time I manage a tweet) and every time I have, my cyber friends – and strangers – have reached out with a supportive reply, an affirming retweet, or best of all the comment retweet, where you get validated and retweeted.

Now that can really turn your day around. You start off twhinging, and end up swapping metaphoric back-slaps with your empathisers and sympathisers, the people you chose to follow based on their 160 character description. Your besties. The ones who’ve got your back, or your handle at the very least.

And it’s instant. Or just about. Twitter-ers are fast. I’m not. It takes me ages just to compose the bloody thing – I worry about grammar. Does anyone worry about grammar anymore? Or is that the mathematical comparison of using an abacus to do your sums?

Speaking of things old fashioned brings me back to my original topic – the twhinge. You see, I was twhinging about that restaurant concept from yesteryear, the humble reservation. You know the thing, where you ring up, ask for a time and a table, your time and table are granted, and then you turn up to enjoy your experience on the given date and time.

Or you used to.

These days you book a table at any number of restaurants still dumb enough to take them, then decide on the night which one takes your fancy and fail to call the losers.

Or you change your plans entirely and go and see the new Bond movie. Fine, but you could have called the restaurant you no longer wish to attend while you were standing in the queue to purchase your popcorn.

Maybe you’re sick. Or in labour. Or your dog ate your phone. Except it can’t have, because often you answer when I call, and respond to my enquiry about your absence with a slightly sheepish, slightly stupid sounding ‘oh, I guess I should have called.’

No shit Sherlock.

The worst part?

My feelings get hurt. I think it’s mean. Can you believe it? Complete strangers can upset my equilibrium. I don’t even know 160 characters about them. Why does it hurt that they failed to keep their commitment?  We’re not dating. (Tell you right now, if we were, no-showing at a restaurant would be a deal-breaker for sure).

My friends on twitter have suggested we take credit card details, a deposit, that we block them from future bookings, that we name and shame them in a public forum. All good suggestions friends, but each one requiring more work on my part.

And just quietly, I’m trying to decrease my workload. If I don’t there may be no end to my twhinging.

Other restaurateurs just shake their heads and wonder why we ever took bookings in the first place.

Because we wanted to offer that service. Because we’re parents too and it can really change the feel of your precious night out if you leave the house at 7 but don’t eat till 10. Because we think it attracts a wider demographic than just the hipsters we’re accused of serving. (That topic is another blog entirely folks, which I might get to one of these days if I don’t have to devote so much energy to no-shows…told you I could twhinge).

So why am I telling you this?

Because I’d like to enlist your help.

 

 

If you know a no-shower, would you be so kind as to release a box of bed bugs under their sheets then tell them that they’re rude, self-absorbed and suffering from delusions of entitlement. If you’re part of a party that has a restaurant reservation, would you be so kind as to take it upon yourself to confirm the booking? And if you’re neither of those and you stumbled on this blog because you put in the search word ‘twhinge’…well, I don’t know what to say to you because twhinge is not a real word. I made it up.

Right, I’d best be off. Surely I’ve expended my quota of whinging in a public forum.

Thanks for listening folks. As satisfying as a twhinge is, venting my pain in 140 characters or less might give some immediate relief, but it isn’t actually changing anything. And really, isn’t that the reason I twhinged in the first place?

 

 

 


WHAT DOES A HARTSYARD CHEF EAT DURING THE DAY?

The other day in the land of social media, people were getting rather excited/uptight about the dietary habits of Chef Pete Evans.

Now I can’t tell you much about anything on his menu, except that I am faintly familiar with liquorice tea. Not that I’ve tried it, but one of our regulars suggested I do. Apparently it is very good for stressed adrenals, which Eliza (also a fully qualified naturopath) suspected I was suffering from.

Now it’s a fair bet that my adrenals were stressed…for a while there my toenails felt stressed. Opening a restaurant and owning a small human is stressful stuff, so I cracked a bottle of wine, opened a packet of liquorice all-sorts and went to work on my adrenals.

I wish Gregory would work on his adrenals. I guarantee they’re more stressed than mine.

‘If I bought you a multi-vitamin would you take it?’ I ask him one morning while he sits slumped over the first of what might be 10 coffees for the day.

‘No.’

No debate. No discussion. No vitamins.

‘Your diet is terrible,’ I continue in a bossy-come-concerned tone of voice that I’ve pretty much perfected over the past four and a half years of marriage. ‘When was the last time you had a piece of fruit?’

‘I ate some of those banana candies left over from Halloween last night,’ he replies and stirs another sugar into his coffee.

This is what I’m dealing with people. The man runs on caffeine all day and then generally succumbs to what he calls a ‘fat kid attack’ sometime after service, usually between 1 and 2am.

This ‘fat kid attack’ may manifest itself in a kebab from the shop up the road. Or it might appear as a sandwich of white bread, toasted on the grill with lashings of butter, a couple of eggs fried hard, bacon, baked beans cooked in the bacon fat and thick slices of melted cheese. (Our cousin named that one the ‘drunk man’s dinner’, perfect for a post-party feed) Or the fat-kid attack could be pizza. Not as good as New York Gregory tells me, but it can’t be that bad. Look how much he orders.

And yes, feel free to comment on the outrageous moustache. I do. Frequently.

Gregory is a shocking over-order-er. Something to do with fasting for most of the day would be my guess. At restaurants he orders most of the menu often just to see how dishes are plated, (which I understand, that’s a professional curiosity) and on Mondays (which is generally take-out night) he sustains the local chinese restaurant for a week with his requests.

6 dishes for 2 adults. 3 take-away chinese dishes per person. And people wonder why the portion sizes at Hartsyard are the size they are…

He’s not bad on a camping trip though. In fact, might I suggest that along with your billy for tea and your damper recipe, you also pack a fully qualified professional chef on your next trip out bush.

A couple of years ago, ‘the kids’ (my 3 brothers, cousin, sis-in-law,Gregory and I) found ourselves camping in the wilds of Norway. While our fancy campervan neighbours tucked into food in a tube, (it’s not their fault they eat that way, the lack of sunlight in the winter must addle their brains) we feasted on mussels plucked fresh from the fjord that Gregory cooked over the fire in a beer and garlic broth.

I mean really, apart from a masseuse, who else but a professional chef would you want to shack up with?

I apologise but I’m going to have to excuse myself and beat a hasty retreat to the washing line because the hail has hit and if I don’t get the napkins off the line in time, tonight’s guests are going to have to wipe hot sauce on their pants instead.

Oh the pressure! No wonder my adrenals are stressed.

Somebody please, pass the liquorice.


NO-SHOWS AND RANTY-PANTS.

Last Thursday I was visited by an angel. His name is Stefan and he works for Dimmi, the online reservation system we launched on the website to save me from returning emails at 2am, which will in turn save my sleep and likely my marriage. Oh , it’s not quite that dramatic, but sometimes a girl needs a bit of drama to get her man to see the truth.

I had planned to write a flowery post about how we hoped this would make the reservation process easier and faster, but then we had 4 no-shows at Sunday night’s service, so now I’ve pulled on my favourite pair of ranty-pants and am going to vent my frustrations right here in the intimate world of cyberspace.

Which, by the way, is part of the problem. Does the anonymity of an email somehow dilute your personal responsibility?

‘Oh no, it wasn’t me who no-showed, it was my email, I would never do something like that.

We decided to take reservations for several reasons.

One, I’m a hundred and fifty and can’t always be arsed to put my name down at 530 and hope I get a table by 9. When the mama is on a night out, she likes to know she ain’t going to spend half that night eating peanuts at the local pub waiting for her table to be ready. Also, I like a cocktail. And I loooove a glass of wine. 530-9 leaves a lot of time open for me to work my way through your wine list…

Two. I’m a mama. Who wants to stand, waiting for a table, knowing that every minute you do costs you $3 in babysitting fees. By the time you sit down to eat, you decide you can’t afford an entree and you’ll split a dessert to make up the $40 you spent while waiting.

Three. Knowing your reservations gives your kitchen a fair idea of what’s coming at them that night, and allows you to staff your front of house accordingly.

Mostly, though, we wanted Hartsyard to be relaxed and welcoming, and we figured that if you knew you had a table, and we knew you had a table, and you knew that we knew you had a table, that would go a long way to achieving that before your meal even began.

To us it seemed like more work upfront, for less work on the night. But Jeez, it is far more work than I anticipated, which is why we enlisted the help of Dimmi in the first place. It responds in real time, is accurate, provides an immediate answer, followed by a booking confirmation email, and now (in response to Sunday’s guest’s performances) sends a reminder email 48 hours before the reservation. Just for good measure, I also call to confirm on the day.

Overkill?

I agree. Airlines don’t bother to remind you about your upcoming flight to Singapore.

But by then they’ve already taken your money. And that, I suppose is the real difference. There’s no accountability if no one makes you pay.

Several people suggested I start a black-list, but I hate to put energy into negatives, and unfortunately that list would now be rather long, so cross-referencing it each night would take more time than confirming reservations in the first place. Perhaps instead, we’ll keep a list of people we do take reservations from, and the rest of the dining room is fair game.

But that contradicts our philosophy for taking reservations in the first place.

So please people, for heavens sake, don’t make reservations at 9 different restaurants because you decided last minute that you want to go out for dinner, but won’t be happy until you find a 730 time slot. And if you do find that 730 time slot, please spend the extra 4 minutes to call all of us other suckers back so that we might free up that table and pay our staff’s Sunday wages by seating another party.

Told you I had my ranty-pants on.

So far Dimmi’s software is not equipped to immediately black-list no-show parties, but I reckon they should look into it. Provide a brotherhood for us schmucks still taking reservations.

But for the majority of our delightful guests, all of whom turn up on time and are an absolute pleasure to serve, if you’re having any trouble with the online system, or have a special request (bespoke cake by Andy…table with an ocean view…) please do contact me directly.

If i’m not having a little nap, I’ll get back to you faster than you can say black list.

 

 

 

 


TO RESERVE OR NOT TO RESERVE,
THAT IS THE QUESTION

Hello blog, haven’t seen you in a while. Well, that’s what happens when you blow up your computer Hart. You have no means by which to communicate.

Yes good folk, Hartsyard experienced the great computer disaster of 2012 last week when I poured my delicious cup of freshly brewed tea (milk, half a sugar) all over our lovely computer, right before a fully booked weekend.

Not to worry, the next morning the Bondi Apple store helped outfit me with a brand new Apple Air while three staff and 4 security guards wrangled my child who was determined to escape out the front door.

I went to the Bondi store, because one of their staff is a regular at Hartsyard, and a native from Gregory’s homeland and I blame him entirely for the whole thing. You see, just days before the great tea incident, he gave me his number ‘just in case I ever had a technical difficulty’. Technical difficulty? Oh, I’d say this qualifies.

Anyway, it’s all good now and I won’t lie…I did enjoy the 12 hour respite from the emails.

Which brings me to today’s post.

Last time I asked you for advice you were vocal, encouraging and interactive. It was really cool actually, I can see how people get hooked on this blogging biz.

Most of you saw no need for us to change the wine glasses, but a few of you did (did you read Pat Nourse’s comment on the blog?) and so we have some stemless wine glasses on their way to Hartsyard. The tumblers will still be available, so now it will be a funny little thing where you can pick your wine and your glass, and have a debate about it at your table. It could be a good conversation starter if you’re out on an awkward first date…

And so today I ask you about reservations…

As you’re no doubt aware, we take most of our reservations via email as I’m home with Q during the day. It also allows me to provide the personal touch we were determined to have at Hartsyard.

Problem is, when you blow up your computer, you can’t provide any personal touch at all.

People like an immediate response, but we’re far too small to have someone monitoring the emails and phones full time, so if Q boycotts sleep, or you email during service, or I am so tired I want to punch myself in the face, you won’t get an answer until late that night or early the next morning.

A reservation system provides an immediate response, a follow-up confirmation email, and texts you on the day, which may go some way to preventing those mean and nasty n0-shows…harder to no-show when you know it’s noted on your record don’t you think?

There’s also no human error. I know people, it’s hard to believe, but despite my best efforts, I have been known to make the odd mistake here and there…

But the big benefit?

Time.

It would free me up to get back to more important activities like this blog and oh, I dunno, painting my nails or curling my hair or something.

But would you feel slighted? Would it seem rude? Does it detract from the personal service we’re trying to provide?

I’m inclined to think it will allow us to be more personal as the response will be immediate, with a tailored email to your specific requirements.

And in this day of internet, twitter, facebook, instagram, 4cubed…4squared…whatever that thing is called…email, text and websites, immediacy is key.

What are your thoughts people? I expect your responses within the next 30 seconds.

Go.

 


WHAT DO TERRY DURACK, PAT NOURSE &
SIMON THOMSEN HAVE IN COMMON?

When I played one of the silly sisters in Beauty and The Beast back in the US, I got a review that said I ‘made the most of my limited role.’

Is that a compliment? It’s hard to tell.

I got another review in a production of Chicago where the reviewer said she’d walked out on Barbra Streisand but she’d never walk out on me. Which I think is less to do with my performance ability and more to do with the size of my nose unfortunately.

Sometimes you’d read a review and you’d want to scream at them and say; ‘you missed the whole point. Didn’t you see the bold acting choice I made at the end of Act I? Can’t you see how I exposed my character’s main flaw and set up the conflict for the second act!’

We actors can be a precious lot. But I doubt I’m telling you anything new by saying there is a certain amount of ego in all acting. And actors.

And chefs…

Noooooooooo. Who knew?

But why?

Because you can’t just get up on the stage and sing. Nobody can dance to a glorious melody and not want to express the sentiment the music is trying to evoke.

Equally so, chefs don’t just whack a steak on a plate and call it dinner. (Except at one dreadful job I once had, where they did exactly that. Which was probably fair given that our guests would come in on tight-arse Tuesdays, order the steak to share, and spend a whopping $3.50 per person, middy of light beer included). Gotta love hotel food subsidised by pokies.

Theatre and hospitality are not so far removed it would seem. You rehearse and rehearse, rewrite, reconsider, challenge, defy and negotiate until you are happy with your concept from the opening notes of the overture to the final closing of the curtain. Every night it’s the same cast with a different audience and no matter who misses their cue, no matter how many salads get dropped on the way to the pass, the show must go on.

Even when a reviewer walks through the door. Especially when a reviewer walks in the door. Jeez it was a hectic first few weeks. There wasn’t a night without half the dining room taking photos of the food paparazzi style, jotting down notes and asking difficult questions that no doubt the wife of the chef should have been better able to answer.

Fake it till you make it people. (Or be honest and run back to the kitchen and ask). You look like a right prat if they quote you in a food blog and you’ve told them it was shaved parmesan instead of shaved almonds. In my defence I was really tired and they kind of look the same, but to clarify, the broad beans are covered with shaved almonds dear reader, not shaved parmesan which seemed the obvious (and unfortunately incorrect) guess.

So, what do Terry Pat and Simon have in common? (And yes, I have deliberately listed them that way based on the order of their surname so that on the off-chance they read this they don’t presume I assume one is more significant than the other).

Turns out they all hate our wine glasses.

We chose the little spanish tumbler for a couple of reasons. One – for space. Given that tables are small and plates are designed to be shared, and two – because we wanted to continue that relaxed dining and we thought they evoked that better than a big old burgundy glass, sitting on the table’s edge just waiting to be knocked over and shatter into a thousand pieces when the neighbouring table gets up to go to the toilet.

But we’re not completely married to the idea. Consider us engaged. At opening we were confident in our decision, but if enough people whisper in our ears that we’re making a horrible mistake, well, perhaps it’s not too late…

And so we took it to our guests, and have spent most of this week polling our regulars for their opinion.

Here are the results;

  • I love them. I think they’re cute.
  • I hate them. Why do you think we order cocktails and beer.
  • It is a non-issue except that nobody else is doing it. Hang on to your point of difference.
  • Of course you should change them, it’s like drinking out of an ashtray, which I thought was slightly harsh, but was counteracted by another at the same table who said;
  • Keep what you’ve got. Don’t give into them. ’Them’ I suppose being T, P and S.

So there you have it people. No conclusive result one way or the other.

And so we turn to you.

What do you think of our wine glasses?

And if we went in the direction of the stemless variety do you have an opinion on that?

It’s risky this, throwing the floor open for comment. Please don’t consider it an open invitation to comment on all facets of Hartsyard. It’s owned by a chef and a performer remember, the drama in our union is high enough as it is!

Happy weekend people, hope you enjoyed the sun-shiney day.


OLYMPICS HARTSYARD STYLE

The Olympics start this weekend. I love the Olympics.

I love the pomp and circumstance. I love the uniforms that always manage to be kitsch despite being designed by the latest celeberity designer. Or perhaps because they’re designed by the latest celebrity designer…

I love the drama – nothing better than a good disqualification in the final moments of the walk. I love the athletes village – how much sex is happening there in the final few days of competition? I love the argy bargy in the waterpolo games, I love the steeplechase while simultaneously finding it faintly ridiculous, I even love the rhythmic gymnastics. Especially the rhythmic gymnastics. That back arch they do after they’ve pranced about the mat like they’re dancing on hot coals – it’s fantastic. Who came up with that sport?

So here at Hartsyard I’ve decided to run an Olympics all of my own. So far i’m the only competitor and my uniform appears to be uggboots and some old, saggy running gear. Not that i’m planning on running anywhere. No, my Olympic event is the Hartsyard Heptathlon. I have set myself a challenge – by the time the real Olympics are over, I must accomplish 7 tasks that have been on my to-do list ever since we opened.

Wanna know what they are?

  1. Scotchguard the banquette. Yes, this should have been done before we opened. No, it is not hard. But it does require 2 applications and 48 hours before being used. Which means I must do it on my days off, which makes them not days off and so consequently I never remember to do it until Tuesday afternoon, by which time it is too late.
  2. Fix the ice machine. Or ‘fix’ the people who sold it to us. We got fleeced people, and spent a lot of money on a substandard machine, which means we spend $10-$20 a day at the servo across the road buying frozen water that has successfully managed to turn itself into ice. Water has been doing it for billions of years. I don’t know why our water has such a tough time.
  3. Mend the front door. You know that saying ‘don’t let the door hit you on the way out’? Well, that’s exactly the problem at Hartsyard. You enjoy a pleasant evening with your friends, sipping on cocktails, feasting on lamb ribs and stuffing yourself with Andy’s sundae, you bring your meal to a close, wander towards the front door, gently pull it open, step through and next thing you know you’re in the middle of Enmore Road as the door catapults you out with all the gentility of a Kings Cross bouncer.
  4. Fix George the Duck. Poor old George. He stands guard at the host stand, steady and strong…until a guest puts their elbow up on the ledge and next thing he knows, he’s lying broken on the floor, his styrofoam beak rolling to rest under a nearby table.
  5. Christmas break. It’s July you say, yes well, that just means we’re even further behind, this should have been sorted by June at the latest. Andy, Sung and Cassie are all planning on heading OS for Christmas, which could make the running of Hartsyard rather difficult. So we’ll probably just close. How’s that for a solution!
  6. Tax. Let’s just pretend I didn’t even write that. I can’t deal with tax. I can barely deal with invoices.
  7. Get bi-fold doors installed in the front window. This was our original plan, but having to do a DA meant both money and patience we didn’t have. But that dining room gets hot yo, and if we don’t do something about it sooner rather than later, ya’ll are going to be sweating more than a prostitute at confession. Anyone know anyone in Marrickville council…

So there you have it. The Hartsyard Olympic Heptathlon. If anyone is up for joining the event, there are a couple of lanes still open. 7 to be exact.

I’m also more than happy to make it into a relay. I’ll take event number 5.

Right people, back to it. It must be time to start tapering or whatever it is athletes do before a big event. Does it involve coffee and a kit-kat? If so, I’m set to win.

 


DEATH TO SPONTANEITY

What would you do 7 weeks into opening your own restaurant?

Book a facial? A massage? Hire a reservationist? Stop taking reservations all together???

Don’t worry, we did none of those things. Instead, we decided to move.

That’s right. Move.

Move when you’ve had so little time to pack, the removalists turn up and have to take out the recycling once they’ve finished packing your husband’s absurd collection of cookbooks.

We’re pretty posh though. Our new apartment has not one, but two bedrooms, and even has a naturally lit laundry. (That’s a positive way of saying the landlord converted the landing outside into a laundry by wacking up two bits of plywood and jerryy-rigging some plumbing).

The upsides to this move are;

  • we’re now an easy walk to the restaurant
  • our daughter has her own room

Those are really the main points, now that I think of it.

The downsides are;

  • we’re now an easy walk to the restaurant…will Q ever see her father again?
  • the hot water tank is only enough for one shower every 12 hours. I shall never tell which one of us misses out…
  • i was forced to make my first ever purchase of white goods, and am now the reluctant owner of a washing machine and dryer.

Yes, yes, I have washed our clothes since we moved back to Australia, but it was with the use of an inherited washer that stayed at the apartment we vacated.

In New York, everyone gets their laundry done, since the poor slave labour wash and fold it better than you ever could and it only costs a couple of bucks more, and in LA, the landlords supply them, so this purchasing of white-goods really makes me feel like I’ve slammed into the wall of domesticity.

Does anything signify permanence and a halt on spontaneity quite like the purchase of a washing machine?

Other than the purchase of a restaurant perhaps?

Ah well, I guess we all have to grow up sometime…

Happy Monday…oh wait, it’s Wednesday. Well, happy hump day for your guys, Monday for us.

Have a great week, I’ve got to put the napkins in the dryer.

Don’t be jealous…

 





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